Cuap-cuap

Sebelum membaca, peringatan!!
Harap maklum, jika terdapat banyak kesalahan grammar. Maklum, bahasa Inggris saya terbatas!!!
Silakan bersiap....................3.............2..................1..............mulai.....................

When my friend texted me a message that I was pleced in SDH Daan Mogot again, I felt a little bit confused. It was for the second times TC placed me on this school. When I looked back on my first practicum on the same school, I felt so frustated. Why? Because I was made a little mistake in content that I taught, and it still memorable until now. I took so many time to reflect, “Have I improved myself, especially in content?”

On my second practicum, I was placed in a school which has a little lower level compared to SDH. I felt so enjoy during that time. Yes, it’s one of human nature, that he will feel very comfortable in his comfort zone. But, I realized that if I never try to reach out of my comfort zone, I will never grow up. I can’t improve myself to be better more. Then, TC made it, SDH Daan Mogot, Math, Grade 10.

When first I knew my placement, the next thing I confused about was my partners. When I knew that all of my partners were girls, I felt more depressed. But what I got for this last 4 months. I really enjoy our togetherness. We can help each other, encouraging each other, laughing together, and we often spent our time to pray and to share our experience in school. When I missed my KTB (Kelompok Tumbuh Bersama), I got a new “KTB” here. I felt that each one of us has been grow each day.

And now, all about my mentor and students. First, my mentor. I felt a little bit afraid when I first met my mentor. He is a very smart teacher, mastery the content very well and also has nine years teaching experince. At first I felt that I couldn’t met his demands. I have to mastery the content, I have to manage the classroom well, I have to manage my time well, I have to make students focus on me, and so on. I still remember what was happened on my first teaching. Too chaos. Too much homework for me. A sentences that I still remember He told me is, “Is it your third practicum?”  He give me many suggestion, especially the way I manage the classroom. I promised to myself, “I will learn from Him, I will accept all his feedback, and I’m going to improve myself”. I am very grateful that God use him to help me develop my skill and content. I was so happy that he gave me so many suggestion right after my lesson, and also he didn’t forget to give me praise if I did a great job. I felt so happy, that he gave so many opportunity to teach, to manage and plan the lessons for three parallel class, to gave the students quiz or exam. I felt that he realy entrusted me to hold on his three class, and also he supported my research during my this internship. I learned so much from him to be a professional teacher.

Next, my students. In this internship I teached three parallel class, 10.3 – 10.5, 73 students. Almost every night, I prayed for them. I realy want to see that they’re not only get content from me, but something else which can touch their heart. I pray God that He make me a blessing to my students everyday. But untill now, I feel that I have not give them my best, yet. It require more time to give impact to them.

In this four months, I realy can feel that life is just like a roller coaster, the position will always change, sometimes up and sometimes down. There’re times where I feel so enjoy in teaching. Especially when the students focus on me, pay attention and concentration to the lesson, and can did the exercise well. But sometimes I felt no passion in teaching. When my students didn’t pay attention to me, talk to their friends during the lesson, rebel and didn’t do the given tasks. Sometimes I became angry and I told them to respect the teacher. Sometimes, I have to faced some rebel students, they didn’t respect me, they mocked me, they didn’t consider me as they teacher. The only thing I can do is pray for them. On the other hand, I think I have to talk to them personally. I have tried it to my students. I called them to my room and have a little conversation with them. On moment like this, I felt this is the time for me to touched their heart. We talked from heart to heart. I encourage them to study harder more.

Overall, I feel so blessed that God gave me this opportunity to met them. I love them, though some didn’t love. I know it. For some students, I am not more than a math teacher for them. Even, some students looked down upon me. Some students wanted to take advantages of my kindness because of my position, “a 4-months teacher”. But trully, whatever they views or toughts to me, they’re still a precious gift from God for me to make me better more. I realize that without any challenges I can’t keep growing. I need it and I have to face it.

Last but not least, I was realy enjoy my last practicum here. For all teachers and staff who greeted us so friendly, I felt very grateful.

I felt grow each day here, but I still need to learn and grow more and more.    

; p